Like every guy out there, I like scifi. We grew up on it. It taught us to think beyond the normal shit they teach in schools. When executed well, it teaches us about heroism, acts of sacrifice, fighting for what we believe in, and believing in ourselves. Also, good scifi always has hot chicks. Checkmate. I always thought it would be great to have a girlfriend who also loved scifi. I was wrong.

Some things are ours and need to stay ours. Sure, we need to share some of our passions, but as every guy knows, when we enter into a relationship, our chick will slowly, insidiously, try and strip us of all things that create our own specific individualism. Because trust me, they don’t want you as you are, they want you as that guy they envisioned as a 12 year old girl. They might not even know they are doing this, but they are. It’s a part of their make up and is one of the great conflicts that plagues all male/female relationships.

Have you ever had a LTR end only to have you ask yourself, “Who the fuck am I? I don’t like Madonna. Why the fuck have I been listening to her for the past year?” Be honest. Yes you have. So let’s use some of those lessons we learned from our favorite scifi stories. Example, The Wrath of Kahn, sacrifice: yes, you might have to listen to Madonna when in a relationship. It’s unavoidable. She just better fucking appreciate it. Next sacrifice, even if she likes Star Trek, you cannot watch it with her. That’s yours! Besides, do you really want her to go to the Comicon with you? Have her sport her Spock ears? Is that really a turn on? Do you really want to talk to her about who the best Star Trek captain was (Kirk, obviously)? Fuck no. That’s a conversation you should only have with your buddies.

Tell her to go to the other tv room and put on Top Chef. As long as she gets to watch a show she likes, she won’t mind. It’s a misdirection, but she doesn’t need to know that. Don’t let her invade your identity. Because sometimes the good of the one out weighs the good of the many. Do this and make Spock proud. Don’t let his death be in vain.